


Wake Me

by elleisforlovee



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Gen, I promise, Just Friends, Sorry Not Sorry, all about the friends to lovers trope, anyone who read any of my old stuff (ie BC) will totally be on board with this, but would you expect anything else?, have I said too much?, how do you even tag?, this is going to get messy, ya'll know just friends is my wheelhouse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-10-15 07:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17524067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elleisforlovee/pseuds/elleisforlovee
Summary: When Chase is abused by his father he seeks out Gert for support. The best friends create a plan to help Chase deal with his chaotic homelife but as they grow up and the lines of friendship are blurred, their plan might not be the only thing falling apart. *Pre-Runaways. Slightly AU.*





	1. Chapter 1

Gert Yorke's bedroom, like her personality, was eclectic and definitely not typical for a thirteen year old girl. It was a mix of vintage patterns and shabby-chic victorian charm. It matched the home she grew up in, falling in line with all the other rooms full of mismatched things. Her house, unlike those of her friends, was untouched by interior decorators and fancy upgrades. It was symbolic of the family that lived inside: free spirited and makeshift. 

 

Her bed sat in the center of the room. It was large and white and above all else, overwhelmingly inviting regardless of whether it was made or not. Its iron frame was gold but the rest of the furniture in the room, as well as the many door frames, were all painted different bright colors: fuchsia, teal, and mustard being the three original and most prominent. The walls were covered in posters of her favorite bands and crumpled up flyers from rallies and marches she attended in LA. The far wall, the one that stood devoid of interruption save an almost dramatically large circular window, was lit from above with small twinkling lights that shined down on photograph after photograph of Gert and her friends. Snapshots of Molly, Chase, Nico, Alex, Karolina, and Amy in various stages of their lives but always,  _ always _ together. 

 

But the best part of her room was the set of french doors, where on a cooler summer night they let in the best breeze from over the valley. Or, tonight, they acted as an entry point for a chaos-ridden Chase Stein to tumble in through.

 

It might as well have been a window with the way Chase made such a clumsy and therefore loud entrance. When he stood he felt more ridiculous than he thought was possible: Gert was sitting up in bed, a book precariously resting on her stomach and her eyes, somewhat irritated, floating to Chase from behind her glasses. 

 

“Can I help you?” she deadpanned. 

 

Chase expelled a heavy sigh, wiping his nervous hands on the jeans he wore. “I, uh…”

 

But she sensed his worry, an anxiety that overshadowed her own, and she softened, immediately going to him. “Chase?” 

 

“I had to get out of there. I couldn’t…”

 

She stood before him, her book long forgotten on the bed behind her. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Uh, well...”

 

“Is it your parents?” She reached out for his hands and held them in her own. 

 

Chase only nodded. “Yeah.”

 

“It’s...it’s okay. I’m...what do you need? Food? Water?”

 

Even deep in his own worry, Chase released a scoff of laughter as he rubbed at the back of his head, a clear sign he was formulating a plan. “I’m not a dog, Gert. I just...can I stay here?” 

 

“What?”

 

“Stay,” he said again, as if a reiteration gave the word new meaning. 

 

Gert looked around. “You just came here to...why did you come _ here _ ?”

 

“I wanted to see you,” he chuckled.

 

“At midnight?”

 

“I didn’t know where else to go. I thought—”

 

“No, of course,” Gert assured, taking his hand again, this time to drag him toward her large armoire. “Here,” she offered, handing him a pair of sweatpants. Chase recognized them well; they were his.

 

“I wondered where these had gone.”

 

“I never returned them,” Gert tried sheepishly, avoiding his gaze. “Remember that day I—”

 

“Slipped and fell in the mud. Yeah,” he laughed — genuinely, for the first time since he had arrived. “I guess you should be happy I always keep extra pants in my gym bag.”

 

Gert smirked. “I guess you should be happy I never gave them back.” 

 

“You got anything else of mine in there?” Chase teased, looking around Gert in an attempt to change the subject. 

 

She recognized this tactic well. When talk of his parents came up in conversation and he steered the discussion elsewhere, Gert never seemed to be as distracted as the rest of their friends. Her gaze always lingered on Chase’s and without fail he’d pass her a small grin, one meant to placate her until he could later explain how bad things were at home, all before assuring her everything was in control and he was fine. Gert never believed him but she allowed the lies; at least he told her what was going on. He never told anyone else and as far as she was concerned, they had no clue. 

 

In the silence now it made sense that Chase had come to her, she just didn’t want to think about what all of it meant. Surely it was a sign that things at home were getting worse for him. Gert did her best to ignore the other possible meaning: he was giving in and he needed her help. She shouldn’t have felt so special knowing he only turned to her when things were especially bad with his father, but Gert did anyway. She’d always thought her and Chase had a friendship that transcended all the rest and the chaos of his homelife gave them an outlet to meet and discuss things without feeling guilty for excluding the rest of their friends. Or at least that’s what Gert told herself; she wondered what lies Chase was telling himself or if she was merely a player in his game of survival. 

 

“Gert?” Chase had disappeared into her en-suite bathroom but reemerged now, catching Gert off guard. 

 

She wondered what she looked like, her hair in a knot atop her head and her legs extending out from beneath a too-large t-shirt. She spun toward his voice anyway. “Yeah?”

 

“I, uh, wanted to say thanks for...letting me in.”

 

“Didn’t have much of a choice,” Gert jested with a small shrug. “I guess I should start locking that door.” It was meant to be a joke, one Gert hoped would make Chase smile. Instead he froze, not wanting to correct her sensibility while simultaneously avoiding the undertones he was seeking. “I mean…” She quickly recovered with a step toward him. “I’ll leave it open. Or you could just...text me when you’re coming over.”

 

“Yeah. Of course.”

 

Gert sighed and padded toward her bed, sensing Chase follow behind. “We have school tomorrow so we should probably get to sleep. Here,” she offered, passing him a pillow. Instead of tossing it to the ground in the way she assumed he would, Chase placed the pillow at the end of the bed. “What are you doing?” she smirked.

 

“I...grabbing a pillow and blanket?”

 

“Why would you do that? You’re...oh, did you want a sleeping bag?”

 

Chase straightened his posture. “Did you...think I’d sleep in bed with you?”

 

“I...well...I mean…” As her voice trailed off, Gert felt a flush of embarrassment grace her cheeks. This was Chase.  _ Her  _ Chase. The boy that meant more to her than any other. She didn’t know why she was suddenly so nervous, but he seemed to be amused. He crossed his arms and leaned back, waiting for her to finish. “The house has a draft,” Gert excused strongly. “The bed would just make more sense. Also one less piece of evidence to discard when you leave in the morning.”

 

He grinned. “Yeah. Definitely.” But his smile fell. “Do you think your parents—”

 

“They don’t have to know. And I won’t tell them.” Gert negated as she slipped beneath the covers.

 

Chase followed hesitantly. “You never have?”

 

“You asked me not to, so I didn’t. No one knows.”

 

Chase looked away and nodded. “I just thought—”

 

“ _ You asked me not to, so I didn’t _ ,” Gert repeated with eyes that plead for him to believe her. “I wouldn’t betray your trust like that.”

 

“I know. Thank you.”

 

“Yeah. And with how well Pride has been doing lately, I don’t know if it’s...well it doesn’t matter. You know how Dale and Stacey are. They’d want to intervene and I don’t know if it would help. I always thought I’d only say something if you were really in danger and...you’re not, right? I mean...he hasn’t touched you? God,” Gert breathed out, rubbing at her face, “that sounds terrible because I know how he and your mom bicker and you said it got violent that one time but—”

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Chase hushed. 

 

Her hands were in his now, ironically offering her support for situations he had long ago decided not to overthink. There were no easy answers, or any answers, in an abusive household. Things that might diffuse a situation elsewhere could be the catalyst for a brand new war. That’s why it was easier for him to run. That’s why his best friend’s bed on the opposite side of town felt so incredibly safe. 

 

“I just need you to tell me if it gets to be too much, okay? I’ll...I don’t know how to help, Chase.”

 

He smiled, but before Gert could reciprocate he was leaning over to press a soft kiss to her temple. “Leave your door unlocked,” he suggested, causing Gert to scrunch her nose upward in amusement. “Or just let me in next time. Just...this is enough,” he gestured, looking around her room.

 

Gert nodded. “Okay...yeah. Of course.” She reached over to her nightstand and turned off the light. The room was cloaked in darkness, making it easier for her to slide down in bed. Chase followed, even mimicking her movements when she turned on her side toward him. 

 

“Why...why were you up?”

 

“New meds,” she explained simply. Like his chaotic homelife, her anxiety and subsequent depression was something Gert only talked about with Chase. It seemed their secrets were secrets to everyone but each other. “The last cycle was garbage so we’re trying something new but before we can do that I have to slowly wean myself off of the old meds and on to the new ones. It’s miserable but—”

 

“You okay?”

 

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Stacey says I have to keep trying because eventually I’ll find something that works and I won’t be so annoying all the time.”

 

“You’re not annoying.”

 

Gert smiled. “Thanks. But that’s definitely how I feel. I...thanks for not saying anything to everyone else. I already feel like a freak—”

 

“You shouldn’t. No one notices. You’re just...you. You've always been a bit...high strung.”

 

Gert quirked a brow. “Altogether a tame word choice.”

 

Chase chuckled. “Well you’re right. The bed is much more comfortable than the floor. I’m trying not to lose my privileges here.”

 

Gert laughed too. But then the moment stilled, finding her reaching out to lace her fingers through his own. “They’re not privileges,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “I...I’m glad you came to me Chase. I mean that.”

 

“I’m glad I had somewhere to go.”

 

“I’ll always be here for you. You know that right?”

 

Chase just nodded, causing his cheek to rub against the softened threads of her cotton pillowcase. “Yeah. Same.” He swallowed too, making Gert think that maybe he’d say more if he wasn’t clearly holding back tears. 


	2. Chapter 2

It was only a week later, a Tuesday, when Gert rolled over in bed to find Chase sleeping soundly next to her. Reaching toward her nightstand to check the time on her phone she instead saw a text from him:  _ Mind some company?  _

 

There was constant sarcasm when it came to Chase and his family, as if a joke could somehow rid the teenage boy of a lifetime of pain. He was so good at pretending that Gert often wondered if the rest of their friends were ever actually fooled. Considering Chase sought her out, she had to reason that there was some truth to her suspicion. 

 

Gert did her best not to wake Chase as she settled back into bed beside him, her phone completely forgotten on her nightstand with him so close. The muscles in his arms rippled as he clutched at the pillow he slept upon. Most of his face was buried in the soft cotton with his mussed hair dominating much of what she saw. A small smile graced his features and for a moment she forgot why he was there in the first place. To say that this was how she had dreamed of having her best friend in her bed would have been more than a lie causing Gert to grapple with the hate and love she had for these nights. He needed her, but not in the way she had always wanted. 

 

~!~

 

It happened again and again, most of the time with Gert being prepared for Chase’s arrival with only the occasional pleasant surprise of waking up with him beside her. She was selfish, she reasoned, considering she craved Chase’s late night texts and even looked forward to the nights she heard him on the terrace, his shaky hands reaching for the door to let himself in. But she saw him more, and more importantly, she saw him alone. 

 

Their childhood was marked Pride meetings where their group of core friends was a decision made entirely by the bond shared between each of their parents. Pride had been so busy and successful lately that there wasn’t much time outside of meetings for Chase and Gert to ever get together without the others. It was trauma, Gert reminded herself, that allowed Chase to sometimes quite literally run to her. It was agony and things beyond their control that had him seeking refuge in her, with her. 

 

~!~

 

Anger clouded Chase’s vision, shading the home and the events he was running from as he made his way toward the expansive iron gate at the end of his driveway. The sound of the rubber soles of his sneakers hitting the pavement brought everything back into focus. It was no longer flashes of red, black, and white but purple — Gert’s favorite color and the color of the pillow he would sleep on if he ever made it to her house. Some nights it was easy; the adrenaline coursing through him like fuel in his bloodstream. Relief helped too, making the feat of scaling the trellis and then pulling himself up onto Gert’s balcony a simple one.

 

Tonight his heart was beating so quickly Chase swore it was vibrating his ears, making both breathing and hearing difficult. He was bleeding too, a fact he was only aware of because he could taste the metal on his tongue. When he wiped at his brow with the sleeve of his zip-up, that was stained too. He only knew of the first punch his father had thrown his way. Everything after that was merely detail; both propeller for and deterrent from his escape. His run had slowed by now, his lungs heavy in his chest as he turned down Gert’s street. 

 

Looking down he saw his hands shaking. His knuckles were red and there was a dribble of blood on his grey shirt. The wind his body pushed against turned the stain a rust-color but it was still discernible, just below his chin. Chase didn’t have time to inspect the rest of him, though he could only assume what he looked like. All was confirmed when he pushed his way inside Gert’s room. The light was on and there was the barely-there sound of music coming from her closet. When she appeared to him, Gert was light on her feet and carrying a hanger-draped blouse she had clearly been admiring. Her smile fell, convincing Chase that maybe the music faded too. 

 

“Chase? Christ!” Gert tossed the shirt aside and went to him, immediately reaching out to touch his forehead. Chase winced, leaning back to reject her advances.  

 

“I...fell,” Chase offered. His lips curled, as if to smile. He wondered if it sounded as ridiculous as he assumed it would. 

 

“Bullshit. Who did this to you?”

 

“Gert, it’s—”

 

“Was it your dad?” she persisted as if he had never said a word.

 

“It’s...can we just—”

 

“Chase!” Gert nearly shrieked. There was a pronounced crack in her voice, one that hinted at the many hidden parts of her that were also breaking. 

 

Chase knew the tears were next, causing him to finally give in. “Yeah,” he nodded, looking to the floor. He didn’t elaborate. Even without his words, his presence was enough confirmation. Previously he was terrified and enraged. Still bloodied and bruised, everything about him was softer now. Standing beside Gert in her bedroom was a certain safety he couldn’t really describe. 

 

“Is your mom okay?” Gert asked quickly. 

 

Chase blinked back into focus. Gert carried his sweatshirt in her hands and laid it on the chest at the base of her bed. Chase didn’t even register her helping him slip out of it but his arms were cold now and that stain on his shirt was even more prominent without anything to hide behind. In a way he felt naked, and the somewhat pitiful look Gert gave him made Chase believe that was more of a possibility than he original realized. “Uh, yeah,” he said, taking a step toward her. “He...I was the target tonight, I guess.”

 

“Chase…” Gert was in front of him again, this time with a palm placed to his side while her fingers drifted upward, curling so she could run her knuckles over his lip. “Let me help.” Her tone was soft and soothing, the vocal equivalent of a steady inhale through peppermint laced lips. 

 

“What are you going to do?”

 

“Get you some ice for your face. Maybe get your lip to stop bleeding...see how deep that cut on your forehead is…”

 

Chase didn’t response. Instead he moved slowly, reaching up to blindly feel at the slice Gert referred to and how it cut right through his eyebrow. He was shocked by his own touch, far more than hers, and was just as unsettled to find his fingers covered with blood when he brought them back down. “Shit.”

 

“Why don’t you shower?” Gert suggested. “I can throw your stuff in the laundry and—”

 

“Gert, I just need a place to stay.”

 

“I know. And you can do that. After I fix you,” she suggested, now sounding slightly chipper. “I don’t want you getting blood in my bed.” The smile she had previously forced in an effort to keep him calm seemed genuine now and it only brightened when Chase submitted to her suggestion. With shoulders willingly slumped, he trudged toward the en suite bathroom. Gert watched him go, revelling in the safety of having him here for the night and how he must have felt just as safe with her; there was something about the way he left the bathroom door slightly ajar that brought comfort to both of them. When Gert heard the water turn on, she slipped out into the hallway. 

 

“Oh, Gert! I didn’t know you were still up, honey.”

 

Stacey stood at the top of the landing, beaming at her daughter rather unexpectedly. Her constant energy told the same story Gert had been hearing since she was little. It was likely her mother was heading back down to the basement to be with her father where the two would spend most of their night working on projects they never talked about in front of their children. 

 

“Oh, uh, yeah…”

 

“How are those meds doing? They’re not keeping you awake, are they? I know your father and I have been working a lot but—”

 

“It’s fine, mom. I’m fine,” Gert insisted, almost curtly. “I’m just going to get some water and then head to bed.”

 

“Alright, sweetie. Was that Molly you were talking to?” 

 

“What?” Gert returned, her voice raised in pitch. “Oh, uh, no…”

 

“I thought I heard talking.”

 

“No, uh, podcast.” 

 

“Oh,” Stacey grinned widely. “Wonderful.”

 

“Right, so...water.” Gert nodded, her hand still clutching the doorknob as if protecting what was inside. “I’m gonna go get water,” she repeated, still motionless. 

 

There was a beat of awkward silence between her and her mother before Stacey finally disappeared down the stairs. Gert was thankful to have the door behind her for support. When she exhaled she did so heavily before quickly darting down the back staircase that led directly into the kitchen. Gert made no apologies for the noise she made there, opening and shutting drawers or dropping items as she rummaged around in the pantry. Just as easily she was heading back up the stairs, her arms now full of items she deemed necessary. She dropped them on her bed just in time to hear the door to the bathroom open. The story of how her mother nearly caught them died on Gert’s lips when she saw Chase emerge from the steam saturated room with only a towel on his hips. She swallowed, her eyes wide and her mouth dry. 

 

“Do you have…” His voice trailed off as he looked down, his vision following her trajectory. “Shit…” he said, now looking at the bruise imprinted on his side. 

 

“Yeah, shit,” Gert agreed as she once again walked to him. She didn’t ask or even hesitate when she was close. Instead she reached out to touch him, her fingertips gentle upon his swollen skin. It was like a constellation, a swirl of indigo and lavender lined with pin-pricks of magenta, just above his hip bone. “Chase...fuck…”

 

He chuckled. “Yeah, I, uh...didn’t see that.”

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“Probably,” he shrugged. “You had some ibuprofen in the cabinet so I took some.”

 

“Some?” Gert blinked from behind her glasses.

 

“A few.” When Gert didn’t seem pleased with that answer, he elaborated. “Five.”

 

“Five? Chase!”

 

“I can’t feel my head! My lip is throbbing. Now I have this...thing! What was I supposed to do?”

 

“Take a shower! Like I told you! I told you I was going to help!”

 

Chase sighed and walked away. “Where did you put my stuff?”

 

Gert sighed too, pushing past Chase to show him where she’d kept the things he’d brought over last week: a bag of toiletries, extra pajamas and even full outfits on the rare chance they overslept and he didn’t have time to make it all the way home before school started. She had cleared a drawer for him in her armoire and the way she opened the door and stepped back was a silent invitation for him to help himself.

 

Gert retreated, falling back onto her bed so she could only hear the rustling of Chase changing. Previously transfixed by the taut lines on Chase’s stomach, now all Gert saw was the angry welt his father had gifted him. She wanted to fix him, and she believed that she could, but there was nothing she could do to erase any of this completely. All of this, their time spent together in secret, was temporary. 

 

“How bad does it look?” Chase questioned as he reappeared. 

 

Gert sat up and looked to Chase, who now wore gym shorts and a t-shirt he held up in an effort to continue displaying his bruise. “Horrible.”

 

Chase smirked. “Thanks, I figured.”

 

“C’mere,” Gert asked simply. Her voice was small and her posture slight. 

 

Chase was motivated by it, as if it was his turn to build her up. Gert turned around, returning with a bag of ice that she slowly placed to the welt on Chase’s side. Instinctively he shied away from the chill, causing both of them to laugh, but Gert’s hand soon joined his upon the ice pack, keeping it in place. Then it was a gentle, steady dance of simple steps as Gert steered Chase back toward the bed. Only a second of pressure and years of trust had Chase allowing Gert to lead, first helping him to sit then urging him to lay back on the pillows she propped up for him. 

 

“Hold that there,” she ordered, pointing to his abdomen. “I’ll need it in a bit but first I need to clean your face.”

 

“I cleaned my face,” Chase gave, almost proudly.

 

“Yeah, I can smell my apricot scrub, genius.” 

 

Chase grinned. “Smells better on you.”

 

Gert couldn’t help but to smirk, but she hid it behind her inflated sense of authority. She couldn’t let him distract her from his own pain. All she’d ever wanted was for Chase to feel and process the things that happened to him. If he could do it anywhere, she hoped he’d find himself comfortable enough to do it by her side.

 

“This is going to sting.”

 

“What isssssss…” His question turned to a hiss as Gert unapologetically dabbed at his lip with a hydrogen peroxide soaked cotton ball. “Fuck, Gert!”

 

“What? Do you want this to heal or not?” she asked as she wet another cotton ball in the fizzy substance.

 

“Of course I do!”

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be a jock? Aren’t you used to pain?”

 

“I wasn’t expecting it!”

 

“What? I warned you!” Gert defended as she now began to apply pressure to the cut above his eye. 

 

“Barely!” he scoffed. “And I’m not a jock. I just...play sports.”

 

“Seems kind of jock-y to me.”

 

“Better than a nerd,” Chase tossed back, clearly in jest.

 

Gert rolled her eyes and for a moment even contemplated donating extra pressure to the cotton pad on his skin. “This nerd is trying to help you so—”

 

Chase gripped Gert’s wrists and brought them away from his face so he could hold her hands in his lap. She was manipulated into sitting on the bed beside him, tending to his wounds in a way that seemed so commonplace for them. “I know. Thank you.”

 

Gert looked away, unable to hold his gaze when she felt so naked beneath his stare. “What did...do I want to know what happened?”

 

“No, you don’t,” Chase admitted through a laugh.

 

“No, I do. I do,” Gert repeated as if she’d finally won an argument against herself. “What did...what set him off this time?” She used her pinky finger to place a bit of antibiotic ointment on each of his cuts. 

 

“I skipped practice the other day. I didn’t feel well and I was exhausted—”

 

“Yeah, because you keep making the walk from your house to mine,” she teased as she carefully laid a small bandage on the cut on his brow bone. 

 

“That has nothing to do with it,” Chase swore, his voice almost begging her to believe him. “He said I’m not smart enough to get a scholarship so I need to try harder with my lacrosse because that the only way a good school would even consider accepting me.”

 

“Chase, that’s not true,” Gert sighed, clearly devastated. 

 

“Maybe it is. I don’t know,” he shrugged honestly. “I don’t care. All I know is that my mom started to defend me and I stepped between them and the next thing I knew I was on the floor.”

 

“Chase...god...”

 

“Please don’t feel bad for me.”

 

“How can I not?” There it was, the crack before the eventual break, the sound that warned of tears and always made Chase feel so helpless. “I...you’re my…”

 

It hurt to do but Chase smirked. Watching Gert fumble was forever one of his favorite things. She was always so put together, such an active attempt at constant perfection, and yet he felt like he was the only one she yielded for.  “Yeah. I know.”

 

“Here,” Gert offered, essentially ending the moment with an abrupt reminder of the present. “Keep this there,” she gestured to his side where his bruise was now a bright eggplant color under the low temperature of the ice. Gert went around to the other side of the bed and when she returned, she was carrying a bag of chips, a package of oreos, and two large red sports drinks. 

 

“Where did you get all of that?” Chase asked.

 

“It’s my turn to bring snacks to Pride tomorrow.”

 

“You hate this stuff,” Chase commented. Even so, his eyes were glossed over in wonder as he reached for the treats and began to dig in. 

 

Gert couldn’t help but to smile. She was grateful Chase was so effortlessly pleased because it made it easier to hide her clear amusement. “So? You’ll be there, won’t you? You always eat all of our food anyway.”

 

“I’m a growing boy,” Chase quipped, causing Gert to laugh. “C’mon, come pig out with me.”

 

Gert rolled her eyes. She disappeared into the bathroom and returned without her glasses or the big sweater that had previously swallowed her form. She turned off the lights and crawled into bed beside Chase, returning the smile he flashed her as he simultaneously ate an oreo and swiped through his phone. Gert didn’t ask or even hint at what she wanted to do and when her head finally fell into his lap Chase set his phone down and turned his attention to her. His outstretched arm fell over her chest, keeping her close and when the sleeve of oreos was sufficiently depleted he ran his fingers through her hair. Parts of him still stung and the heartbeat he felt earlier, while quieter, still existed heavy in his eardrums but it made sense that this was where he went when he needed to escape his world of chaos. It was not the room or the bed in it that provided him shelter, but the girl that laid upon him, with her too-loud opinions and gorgeous laugh. There was just as much warmth in her smile as there was in the touches she gave when she did her best to heal him, a process she was likely unaware was still happening now. 

 

Gert yawned, causing Chase to do the same. Wordlessly he shifted to turn off the last remaining light in the room. Gert accepted the change, even if it meant leaving him. When the room was cloaked in darkness and Chase settled further down beneath the sheets, he reached for Gert, finding her ready for what he was about to offer: an arm around her shoulders. Gert nestled into his side, even laying her cheek to his chest to hear the steady thump of his heartbeat. She draped her arm over his midsection, using the bruise on the other side as an excuse. She pulled up the cotton and caressed the skin there, feeling its heat beneath her fingers even from all the time it spent dressed in ice. 

 

“Are you okay?” she finally asked, cutting through the moonlight. 

 

Chase nodded, causing his chin to rub against the top of her head. “Yeah. I think so. I am now.”

 

“I think we should tell someone, Chase. This isn’t going to get better.”

 

He finally looked to her. “I can’t tell anyone, Gert. It’ll ruin my life. My mom doesn’t work and we’d...it’d be a mess.”

 

“It  _ is _ a mess, Chase. You all just fake it. Aren’t you tired?”

 

“Exhausted,” Chase returned effortlessly, almost causing himself to smile at the irony. 

 

Gert tightened the grip she had upon his neck as she shifted to look up at him. Her fingers ghosted at his nape, caressing the short hairs there. “Aren’t you scared?”

 

“Scared of what?”

 

“Everything,” Gert suggested softly. “Because I am.”

 

“Gert, I’m fine.”

 

“You’re not fine, Chase! What if something happens?”

 

“Nothing is going to happen...I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Gert put her chin on his shoulder. “I’m just scared.”

 

“Don’t be scared. I’m fine. I’m here. This is good,” he assured, lacing his fingers through her own. His thumb worked in overtime, caressing her skin in the way he knew she liked. 

 

Gert could only shake her head. She wiped away a tear before it could fall to his shirt. “You’re a terrible liar.”

 

Chase chuckled and kissed her head. “You love it.”

 

It was delicate and lovely and for a moment Gert forgot she was crying. “I love you safe,” she whispered, hoping her words mimicked his almost perfect gesture. She never felt like she could give him what he gave her, whatever that was. 

 

“I am safe. With you. I mean that.”

 

Giving up and giving in, Gert nestled back into Chase. “I don’t want morning to come. Each time it gets harder…” Her voice trailed off, hoping he understood.

 

Chase looked at her. His eyes did their best to adjust in the dark where even then they were stunned by her beauty: her round cheeks and those brown eyes that were just as kind as they were vulnerable, especially when not shielded by her glasses.  He could barely manage breathing so he nodded instead, swallowing down any emotion that would complicate these nights, and make the mornings Gert referred to disappear. “I think I know what you mean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never said it wasn’t a slow burn, friends! I will say that the next chapter picks up a bit. A few of you mentioned wanting to see everyone else and you will! Very soon! But you have to review first :)
> 
> I don’t make the rules…
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya’lllllll! I am SO SORRY this has taken me so long to update. I really hope I didn’t lose any readers! Maybe go back and re-read if you need to? Exposition is mostly covered at this point so things start to pick up from here...

Chase didn’t know what he preferred: sneaking out of Gert’s bed before the sun rose or waking up with her slowly. The former gave him time to look upon her quietly. Her face was always free of worry then, a foreign concept to Gert especially lately when he saw how his own stresses were weighing her down. The latter option was a moment of bliss. Even as Gert’s alarm rang obnoxiously through the air, Chase usually afforded himself the time to watch her easily grab for her glasses before slipping out of bed. He’d always known Gert was a morning person but these shared nights confirmed it, especially when he had to blink several times to even get his heart rate going. Gert, her hair a mess and her complexion bright, always gave him a smile before disappearing into the bathroom. With her gone, his opportunity to admire her vanished with her. The shut bathroom door acted like a gunshot at the beginning of a race, propelling Chase out of bed and into whatever clothes he had kicked off the night before. The first few times Gert had folded Chase’s things or even laid out a change of clothes for him so his exit was a swift and easy one. But he commented on it once, called it _cute_ , and she hadn’t done it since. Chase didn’t know if there was merit to his myriad of conjecture; his only confidence came from how little he was sure of lately.

 

This is what he thought of now, one hand on the book bag strap over his shoulder, his eyes cast downward. It seemed his mind was always elsewhere lately. During class, practice, or the feigned normalcy of dinner with his parents he thought only of Gert and the bed they shared. It was a foreign concept, how losing sleep brought him calm and safety. She didn’t talk much lately, but that was largely in part to how late he was in arriving, usually when she was fast asleep. She didn’t wait for him anymore and he never wanted her too. It wasn’t meant to be a nightly thing but with each passing week Chase found himself waking up in Gert’s bed far more times than he woke up in his own.

 

It was Friday and there was a Pride meeting meaning for a moment Chase could pretend everything was normal. It was a talent, really, to smile and laugh as if your world was not secretly crumbling but it helped to have Gert by his side. Being honest with her about his homelife was the best thing he ever did. Just her knowing brought him peace and though she was firm in her belief that Chase should not harbor this secret forever, she was brilliant at helping him keep it.

 

Chase looked up, wondering where she was now. Her schedule was always changing as she somehow managed to fill it with more things. If he was remembering correctly, he thought she was likely in one of her art classes. As his eyes searched the quad he did not find her or her daffodil-colored backpack. He did find Alex clearly lost in thought of his own, with steps fueled by far more energy than Chase was capable of. As he approached Chase casually wondered if he’d have time for a short nap before the party.

 

“I’ve been looking for you. I sent you four different texts,” Alex managed, holding his cellphone for proof.

 

Chase smirked. “Sorry. It must still be on silent…” His voice trailed off as he reached into his back pocket to fix the setting. His screen lit up, revealing a picture of him and Gert from over a year ago. Quickly it turned to black again with several other text messages forgotten. “What’s up?”

 

“Nico has been trying to tell me about this thing you have planned but—”

 

“Shhh!” Chase urged.

 

Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m not talking that loudly. Besides, nobody important is around. Gert—”

 

“Alright, alright,” Chase deflected. “Sorry. I just need this to work and…”

 

Alex nodded. “Yeah, I get that. But we’ve been trying to help and you haven’t really let any of us know what’s going on.”

 

“Sure I have. I’ve told you all where you need to be and when. Shouldn’t you all be thanking me?”

 

“Well I think the girls are worried, to be honest. Gert usually does the planning and I don’t know if they trust you.”

 

“Well they should because I’ve had this planned and booked for months now. It’s foolproof.”

 

“Unless it rains.”

 

“It’s LA. It never rains.”

 

“It sometimes rains in LA. It’s supposed to rain all next week, actually,” Gert said plainly as she approached them from behind. Amy was at her side but already the girls were beginning to pair off with their respective best friends.

 

“Hey Stein,” Amy said, giving Chase a wide smile. She was always so unbelievably happy.

 

Even in his fog, Chase couldn’t help but to smile back. “Hey, Amy.”

 

“See you tonight?”

 

Chase nodded. “Yeah. You’re coming?”

 

“I thought I would. You know...make sure Pride meetings are as awesome as they used to be when I hosted every week.” She flung her arm around Alex’s neck, pulling him close in a way that was almost comical. “You ready, Wilder?”

 

Alex sighed and shrugged out of her touch. “To ace this coding exam? Yes. I am. No thanks to you.” He turned toward the door, not bothering to give a farewell to Gert or Chase who continued to look on. Silently they both wondered if they looked this ridiculous, two friends so comfortable with one another that the peace they felt at being together was almost contagious.

 

“Okay, so I got a bit distracted last night,” Amy admitted as she held the door and Alex entered the classroom. “But the new FF was absolutely worth it so don’t even act like…” Her voice dwindled before fading out completely as the door closed behind them. It must have brought Gert back into the moment because she gave Chase a slight grin before walking away, wordless, but in a way that asked Chase to follow.

 

“You okay?” she finally asked, breaking through the silence.

 

Chase nodded quickly but then he remembered who he was talking to and all she knew; things even he was afraid of confronting about himself. Chase wondered how deeply she knew it too. There were so many truths he was terrified of, things that spanned far beyond the life he lived at home.

 

“Yeah,” his voice came softly. “You?”

 

She nodded, swallowing too. “Yeah. Of course.”

 

“Stein!” It was another interruption, this time from an unwelcome source. A cluster of lacrosse players were in front of them at the end of the hall causing Chase to look up as Gert looked away, wanting to disappear.

 

Gert did her best to blend in and having Chase as her best friend often threatened that. It was not just the looks he received from other girls, looks that inevitably drifted her way in disgust and disregard but also the unwanted male attention, how walking down the hall with Chase often meant being bombarded by the other friends he had, friends she’d never know simply because she didn’t care to. She didn’t need to hear them ignoring her; she felt it everyday when she walked past them without Chase and they looked over or even through her, as if she weren’t really there at all.

 

She wondered if she slipped off if Chase would notice but before she could take even a small step, Chase reached for her wrist to keep her close.

 

“Let’s go! Practice!”

 

“I’m—”

 

“Doesn’t look too important,” one of them commented, his eyes roaming over Gert causing her to wretch her wrist away from Chase so she could cross her arms over her chest.

 

“I have study hall and then calc—”

 

“And we’re skipping the last two periods and we think you should too. Study hall is...study hall,” the boy assessed, almost proud of his deduction and the chuckle it earned from his friends. “And who needs calc?”

 

“Well, I do—”

 

Gert didn’t hear the rest of it. The game Chase played, one of high school politics, was not something Gert ever participated in and it was much easier for her to disappear behind her locker which was thankfully only a few feet away. She may have refused to be a pawn but Gert didn’t want to put Chase in a position where he’d be forced to belittle his social standing by sticking up for her. Or, she didn’t want to stick around and hear him go silent, saying nothing to defend their friendship.

 

With the door to her locker acting as a shield from the situation she’d removed herself from, Gert didn’t see any of what she’d left behind. She didn’t see Chase’s disappointed face and the way he turned around to watch her go. She also didn’t see the look he gave his teammates and how he pushed one of them off of him when they tried to steer him toward one of the school’s many exits.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Chase tossed out as he repositioned his bookbag on his shoulder.

 

“Whoaaaaa,” one of them carried out, raising his hands in feigned surrender. “We’re just—”

 

“Well don’t,” he snapped. “You don’t get to dictate what is and isn’t important to me. Practice can wait. I do need calc and Gert—”

 

“She’ll be around after practice, I’m sure. You know how she is. Watching you...waiting for you. It’s actually kind of creepy sometimes.”

 

“No, what’s kind of creepy is the way that you care. She’s my best friend. Stop treating her like you’re better than her because you’re not.”

 

“Whoa, Chase, I—”

 

“Fuck off, okay?” He shrugged again, still trying to rid his shoulders of the weight they felt from being pushed and prodded at by teammates that were supposed to be friends. He’d get away with this outburst just like he’d gotten away with so many before it. He was the best on the team and they needed him. They also didn’t know that his anger went far beyond the respect he had for Gert. Or maybe it was all the same; the anger and resentment he felt for his father was meant to be cooled by all Gert did for him. Insulting her was to question the only security Chase felt he had.

 

They dispersed, leaving Chase to turn around in the hall, seeking Gert out. It was an extended break between periods, meaning the halls were more crowded than usual. She was likely on her way to the library already. Even if he texted her he wasn’t sure he’d receive a response until after school. If she ignored him in calculus he wouldn’t be upset. Hadn’t he just done the same thing to her?

 

“Chase?”

 

It was relentless, how everyone demanded his attention. Chase huffed out, turning to the voice, but was softened when he saw who it belonged to. He was also slightly disappointed at not having recognized it sooner. “Karolina...hey,” he tried, faking a smile that he hoped would turn genuine.

 

“Uh, hey…” she attempted, equally apprehensive. “You okay?”

 

“What? Uh, yeah,” Chase nodded, looking over his shoulder as if to acknowledge what had just transpired. “Team bullshit.”

 

Karolina gave an exaggerated nod in acceptance of the clear lie he told. “Right. So, uh, Alex said you needed to see me?”

 

“Oh, yeah, sorry I...you said your mom would let you borrow the car? So we can all…”

 

“Yeah, totally! I checked again this morning actually. She doesn’t mind but she did offer to rent us a car. I mean, I don’t mind but then we’d have a driver and—”

 

“Too showy,” Chase rejected simply. “I considered it but I know she—”

 

Karolina smirked, knowingly. “You’re right. My mom’s car it is.”

 

“Thanks. You’re the best. And uh, tell your mom I said thanks too.” His grin was genuine this time, and the much more pleasant attitude he had radiated off of him when he reached out for Karolina to give her shoulder a gentle squeeze in appreciation. They had so little in common, her with the church and him with his sports, but there was comfort in having friends that knew you before the world had a chance to define and label who it wanted you to be. They could practically speak different languages and the silence they shared would still be of more comfort than a conversation with a like-minded stranger.

 

Chase watched her go, thankful that her brief appearance calmed his clear rage. Unlike Gert, Karolina didn’t demand that Chase feel and confront what he was feeling. She didn’t know such a thing was necessary but they were fundamentally different girls. His father had once made mention of Karolina, as if Chase’s love life was also something worth manipulation. Chase had never even considered Karolina as a possibility but he concluded, with Gert’s help, that his father was merely thinking that pretty people belonged with other pretty people. It honestly hadn’t occurred to him that a notion like that was simple math to some people. Gert had a way of doing that; of forcing him to examine all he was previously blind to. His world was different with her in it; she demanded it be that way.

 

It occured to Chase in that moment what it was that had been plaguing him. The feeling that had poked at his insecurities and drowned him in self-loathing was nothing more than loneliness. It sounded as ridiculous as it felt, how he could be surrounded by so many people, often showered in praise, and still feel wholly and utterly lonely. And that’s why he was so transfixed on the pure white bed he slept in lately and how it was always so warm and soft and right. And the girl that slept beside him, often unaware of his presence, seemed so peaceful beside him. Her breathing and the soft snores she sometimes whispered out only confirmed what Chase now knew to be true. It was not just Gert’s company but the simplicity of her presence, even in slumber, that truly calmed him down. This was clear as she slipped out of his grasp, disappearing into the crowd as his teammates had nearly suggested. He felt naked then and now he wondered how such a thing was possible: how he could be fifteen and so dependent on someone who prided herself on her own independence.

 

He had no option but to leave the moment and all of its repercussions behind. His mind shifted anyway, wondering where Gert had gone to and pondering the validity of her claim that it was likely to rain soon.

 

~!~

 

Chase was notoriously late to everything. He craved the days when he’d have a car of his own but until then he was stuck waiting for his parents and most importantly his self-involved father who believed arriving late was not a matter of courtesy but one of well-exercised power. Tonight however he managed to be the first to arrive to Alex’s house. He sat and watched Alex finish an entire level of his latest video game, ignoring the offer to join while his hands fidgeted with his phone, flashing the screen on and off to check for a text message that felt like it would never come. He hadn’t spoken to Gert since he lost her in the hallway and now he wondered if he’d even see her tonight.

 

It made him think of something else.

 

“Hey, do you have it?” he asked Alex as he came out.

 

“Have what?”

 

“The money,” Chase gave easily, his voice sounding as though he were irritated at Alex’s lack of clairvoyance.

 

Alex rolled his eyes. “Remind me when the girls get here. I’ll go get my wallet.”

 

“Or you could get it now,” Chase entertained the thought, a sly smile creeping onto his face. This was dangerous territory for a boy who was equally guilty, even more so for a boy that was guilty and ignorantly so. “But that wouldn’t give you an out when things get awkward between you and Nico.”

 

“Things don’t get awkward between me and Nico!” Alex deflected, rolling his shoulders. “It’s just me. I’m the awkward one.”

 

Chase laughed at his friend’s correction. “Dude, when are you going to stop all this? Just tell her you like her.”

 

“Easier said than done. I’m not good with grand sweeping gestures. That’s your thing.”

 

Chase’s head shot up. “What?”

 

“Oh, c’mon,” Alex gave in, his shoulders now slumping as they did their best to keep up with the conversation. He wasn’t wrong when he said massive declarations weren’t his thing. It was the same reason Chase always suggested that Alex go out for lacrosse. His body was far more emotive than his face. Chase also thought a physical outlet would benefit Alex; give him a place to channel his burgeoning adolescent angst when the girl he wanted clearly didn’t want him.  “You think all of this is lost on us?”

 

Chase’s eyes narrowed and his throat went dry. He shook his head in dismissal. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Similarly, Alex joked that Chase should go out for Atlas Academy’s next theatre production. He certainly had a talent for wearing masks and pretending to feel what he didn’t. Ironically both boys managed to comment on these things without ever talking about the true underlying issues.

 

Behind them, Amy came through the french doors of the guest house, carrying with her four large boxes of pizza. She set them down on the table in the corner, letting her weight fall into the wood before turning back to her friends. “Pizza,” she announced.

 

“Happiness,” Nico echoed, coming in immediately behind her to snatch a slice and begin eating.

 

“I don’t know what we’re talking about but I’m starving,” Amy continued as she now mimicked her sister’s behavior.

 

“Plates!” Alex reminded. He grabbed for the pile stashed away on the entertainment center and as he offered one to Nico she took it willingly before crashing back down on the couch to get comfortable.

 

“Do they not feed you at the Minoru house?”

 

Nico narrowed her eyes in minor irritation but did not stop eating. “No, they do, but some of us have parents that work late and then rush us off to get to these stupid things so—”

 

“Was that a dig at my mom?” Chase cocked his head to the side. “Really, Nico?”

 

She shrugged and returned to her pizza. “Oh, Karolina needs help.”

 

Chase stood up from the stool he sat upon. “What?”

 

“Yeah. Box of something in the car. I told her you’d love to help her,” she teased.

 

Chase shook his head as he started for the door. “Great. Thanks.” He disappeared into the night where already a distinct wind was picking up. He waved to Mr. and Mrs. Dean as he walked past them heading toward the main house. The girl he was looking for was still nowhere to be found, making him believe that there might actually be merit to his fear from earlier.

 

“Chase…”

 

With his head cast downward he collided into the familiar. It was like a dream with the scent of her — rosewater and chamomile — faintly surrounding him while her hands reached out for his chest in an effort to keep them both steady. When he looked up he couldn’t even smile. Her fingertips leaving his chest, that loss of touch, felt like salt on a burn and were made all the more apparent when she stood back and another gust of wind blew between them.

 

“Gert, hey,” he brightened.

 

“I needed—”

 

“Uh, one second, alright?” He requested, holding up a single finger. His eyes darted over her shoulder. “Karolina needs help with something so...”

 

They had crossed and traded placed with Chase closer to the path leading to the driveway and Gert standing steps from the guest house. They looked as if they were sparring, both with feet firmly planted and bodies bent to compliment one another.

 

“Yeah,” Gert finally nodded, breaking through the silence. Her voice mixed with the cold and she felt empty with the simple word gone, as if she’d lost an opportunity. She hadn’t even formulated what she wanted to say but it never mattered with Chase. Then again, it seemed to matter more lately, especially now as her best friend left to help the same girl she’d saw him with in the hall earlier as she crouched low behind the open-door of her locker, trying to remain invisible. That same girl was her friend, their friend, and Gert hated herself for sometimes almost hating Karolina. _Girl power_ didn’t seem to hold when matters of the heart were involved.

 

Gert walked into the guest house looking somewhat defeated. She faked a smile as she sat down next to Nico but it was easier to do when a plate with a slice of pizza was passed her way. That same cheese covered carb was soon a shield, something for her mouth to do when she saw Chase and Karolina re-enter. They were laughing — _of course they were laughing_ , she thought.

 

The self-loathing was two-fold now. Gert sat forward to grab for another piece of pizza and when she saw Chase approach, finally alone, she stood up and made her way to the mini-fridge near the window. Her spot remained empty in her absence but she did not return to it. Instead she took a seat on the couch next to Alex and Amy, thankful she at least had the basic knowledge of the role-playing game they were discussing so her presence didn’t seem as awkward as it clearly felt. When their animated banter grew tired, Gert’s vision blurred, taking in the box Chase had carried in and how it now sat idly on the bookshelf nearest the bathroom. It was clearly not the box’s pressing contents that had Chase running out to help Karolina. All Gert could make out was a single silver foil-covered letter Y, a half-opened bag of purple balloons and a string of lights. It was a reminder of the charity event they had this week, one of the few the teens were invited to, clearly in an effort to remind the city that beyond their parent’s wealth and power, they were just that: parents.

 

“Movie?” Gert offered. Everyone looked up but Chase seemed to look up first. His state was enough to bring Gert to her feet. He looked hopeful for a moment but she didn’t notice as she reached into her bag to retrieve two movies, both in unmarked black DVD cases. This was one of Gert’s many talents; her mother and father had a connection at one of the big movie studios and she was always acquiring films before they were released to the public. “ _Black Panther_ or _Incredibles 2_?”

 

“ _Incredibles_? Really?” Karolina balked.

 

“You were the one that wanted to go see _Toy Story 3_ when it came out. Don’t act like you don’t love a sequel,” Nico teased, earning her a soft smile from the blonde to her right.

 

“ _Black Panther,_ ” Chase spoke up. His vote came without the unspoken: him and Gert had started _Incredibles 2_ several nights ago and though both had fallen asleep only a few minutes in, he imagined they’d be finishing it together — alone.

 

Gert looked around as if she hadn’t heard him. “Anyone else? I don’t want to start one of these and then get a complaint from someone who never voted in the first place,” she said casually, though her eyes bore into Alex, causing Amy to snicker.

 

“ _Incredibles 2_ ,” he said, agreeing with the vote Nico had yet to give.

 

More silence followed and Gert sighed before moving to put the movie in. Just as easily the lights dimmed and a comfortable silence faded in, reminding all participants that this routine was one they had nearly perfected and somehow still were not sick of.

 

~!~

 

Gert’s eyes never quite adjusted to the dark. She’d gotten contacts recently and between the strengthened prescription and overall discomfort she found her vision hindered. Her eyes ached and when she blinked and opened her eyes again she found her vision tilted; her head was on Alex’s shoulder. She didn’t remember any of the movie beyond what her and Chase had already watched together.

 

“Sorry,” she mumbled, lifting her head.

 

Alex smirked. “Tired?”

 

“Yeah, I uh...didn’t sleep well last night,” she admitted.

 

No one knew of her anxiety medication or Chase’s late night visits so Alex merely nodded. “Movie’s over. Still no sign of the ‘rents. We were going to go raid the fridge for ice cream. My mom said she got everyone’s favorite flavors delivered from—”

 

“Your mom is a goddess,” Gert agreed, smiling as she moved to stand.

 

Effortlessly they all walked across the backyard and into the kitchen. Their parents, as usual, were nowhere to be found. The house was actually eerily silent, save for a single television on in Mr. Wilder’s office. It was easy for them to fill the air with laughter and lighthearted screaming and the other sounds that accompanied these Friday nights. There was so much character between the group of them that it was also easy for Gert and Chase to avoid one another. They did so until it was time to leave and Chase caught Gert at the door, reaching out for her wrist to keep her from going.

 

“Hey, where are you going? Your parents…”

 

“I have something I wanted to do,” she mumbled. His eyes were so unbelievably hazel sometimes, Gert couldn’t manage words, much less a well-crafted lie.

 

“Do you want company?”

 

With her hands stuffed back into the pockets of her dark denim jacket, Gert shook her head. “No, I’m okay.”

 

“Let me walk you home,” he stammered.

 

“I said no, Chase!” Gert hushed, suddenly wishing the two weren’t still in the company of friends so she could have delivered the line at the volume she believed Chase deserved. She sighed and took a step outside. Chase followed and the two began a somewhat aggressive path down the driveway toward the street.

 

“Did I do something?” he called out.

 

Gert was at the fence now. “What? No!” She punched in the Wilder’s code and the pedestrian gate disarmed, allowing her to exit. A tall row of junipers still shielded her from the road but a car could be heard going by, causing her pace to accelerate.

 

“I…” Chase exhaled heavily. “You’re saying no but I really think I did something so it’d be great if you could stop being stubborn and just tell me what I did so we can get over this.”

 

Gert turned harshly on her heel. “I just...I've been...I wanted to make sure you were okay. That's it. You snuck out before I woke up and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 

Chase took a beat. His featured softened in relief. “I’m fine.”

 

“Does...does Karolina know?” Gert tossed back.

 

“Know what?”

 

“About you. Your dad.”

 

Chase shook his head. “Definitely not.”

 

 _So I can be your crash pad but when we’re out she’s actually your first choice?_ But Gert didn't say it, not really. And she didn't know why she wanted to. If she did, she certainly wasn't going to admit it. “Right, so I'm going to go—”

 

“Gert, what is it?” Chase pleaded once more. “Is it your anxiety?”

 

“Don’t act like you know everything I’m thinking and feeling, Chase!”

 

“I certainly don’t or else we wouldn’t be arguing in the middle of the street.”

 

Gert looked up. He was right; they now stood on the corner of Alex’s street, beneath the soft glow of a newly-changed streetlamp. “You’re right. Let’s not argue.” She turned to walk away, slowly at first, but all of her came colliding back into him. It was like a dance, a planned version of their fumble on the path earlier. The feel of skin on skin burned again, surely sending sparks falling to the pavement below.

 

Gert’s eyes were steadily trained on where Chase’s hand cupped her wrist. She had twirled into him in an almost fluid way, a dance neither of them asked for. They certainly didn’t ask for any of this: the way Gert’s arm was sandwiched between them, her hand previously balled into a fist now fighting its urge to reach out and touch Chase’s cheek. Chase’s hand released the grip it had on her wrist but Gert did not detach. Instead her gaze changed, roaming up Chase’s stomach, past the freckles on his neck, to his lips and finally his eyes. Those same stunning pools were so close now. He was sorry. _He didn’t need to be sorry_ , she thought, and now he was just so damn close.

 

Chase’s heart hammered in his chest. He was jealous of Gert’s jacket. It was something for her to hide behind. It also kept them at a distance, concealing the parts of her he seemed to crave the most lately. Without warning he leaned in, slowly angling his mouth toward hers with a precision he was overwhelmed by. He smiled a bit, then reached up to gently caress a stray hair behind Gert’s ear. The signals he’d read, the ones that told him all of this was okay, flashed into nothingness. His touch sent the moment running and Gert blinked, instantly leaning back before stepping away completely.

 

“Sorry, I…”

 

“Just don’t be mad at me, alright?” Chase persevered as if he hadn’t been the one to instigate.

 

Gert rolled her eyes. “I’m always mad at you.”

 

“I wish you weren’t,” he returned in mirth. “Your birthday is coming up. I don’t want you to be mad at me on your birthday.”

 

“It’s my birthday. I can be mad if I want to,” Gert deadpanned.

 

“Yeah, but what fun would that be?”

 

Gert couldn’t help herself. She was short of breath and all she wanted to do was run. She was losing control and she needed it back now, her anxiety overtaking the want she had for the boy in front of her, her supposed best friend. In abrupt resolve she shook her head and turned to walk away. She was almost a full step away before she stopped, turning to glance back to Chase just once. If he grabbed her again she wasn’t sure she’d be able to resist. When he didn’t, she was relieved. All of this was so tricky — delicate.

 

“Even if I’m mad at you, I’ll always let you in. You know that, right?”

 

“I...” Chase’s smile fell. “Wait what?”

 

“With your dad...I could hate you but you could always come to me and—”

 

“Gert, what are you even saying?”

 

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” She turned back again. The speed at which she advanced was telling. It was not his hand but his voice that called her back.

 

“Oh my god. You think I don’t want you mad at me in case I need a place to crash?”

 

“What? No!” She paused. “Maybe! I don’t know!”

 

“Really, Gert? Do you know me at all?”

 

“I...I don’t know myself lately, Chase! Everything has just been so crazy lately but you know what? It’s my fault. I’m out of my mind. I’m a mess. I’m—”

 

“None of those things,” he sighed. “You’re none of those things.” His voice sounded as tired as her eyes felt.

 

Gert nodded. “I should go.”

 

“Yeah...right.”

 

“Night, Chase.”

 

“Yeah...goodnight.”

 

The people they were waking up that morning in bed together felt like strangers to this version of themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t written high-school scenes in SO. LONG. and I apparently missed it because I had way too much fun with these. Thank you for letting me share this story with you! I’m excited to hear what everyone thinks as it continues. 
> 
> I hate to be that girl but PLEASE review! This would have been up earlier but I didn’t feel like there was too much interest after last chapter, tbh...

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyyyyyy! New story! I’m not stopping Ghost Story, I just wanted to post the first chapter of this to see if there was any interest. My plan (unless this blows up) is to finish Ghost Story then come back to this one. This story obviously explores what happened before Amy died, ie. before Runaways. It’s kind of a mix of a) what I think happened to create what we now know as canon and b) what my gertchase shipper heart would like to believe was also a possibility. Whereas Ghost Story focuses on Chase helping Gert with her anxiety, the focus here will be Gert helping Chase deal with his father’s abuse. Thoughts? Comments? I’d love to hear from everyone!
> 
> ...you really should talk to me. For example, I posted this because someone I adore (who used to be just a random girl that read my stories...sorry Tay :p) told me she wanted me to. Being friends with me has its perks. I'll tell you about the stories I'm writing and I'll give you spoilers for upcoming chapters and I'll write your ideas into the story...if they don't suck. My friendship is the gift that keeps on giving. PLUS I just genuinely think anyone who reads my stuff is awesome so say hi so I can tell you how cool I think you are! 
> 
> x. Elle


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